( Eph. 5:18,21 ) As in previous discussions, the key is being filled with the Spirit. Submitting to one another follows this infilling.
( Rom. 1:18,30 ; 2 Tim. 3:2 ) In the end days, times of apostasy, when you have ungodliness, you will always have unrighteousness. One of the most striking manifestations of this lawlessness is "disobedience to parents". Unrighteousness is always the result of ungodliness and the only hope is to have a revival of godliness.
( Eph. 6:1 ) As in the marriage relationship, submitting also applies to children. To obey parents is to listen, realizing one is under authority, to listen "under" their authority. To honor parents is to respect and reverence them in the spirit of the law, to rejoice in it, and to regard it as a great privilege. "For it is right", this is essentially right and good in itself.
( Gen. 2:24 ; Rom. 13:1-2 ) The principle of "order of nature", as with husband and wife, so is with children. Without order, life would be chaotic and would eventually destroy itself.
( Eph. 6:2 ) This is the commandment with a promise. The first four commandments deal with our relationship to God and the fifth begins our relationship with one another. God gives a promise in order that it may be reinforced to encourage us.
When neglected, these laws lead to the collapse of society. God's order of nature has been violated from Genesis onward. When the family idea, family unit, family life is broken up there is no allegiance to anything and chaos is the result.
( Acts 17:28 ; Eph. 3:14-15 ) Relationship between parents and child is a replica, a picture of the Christian relationship with God the Father. God, Himself, is the Father and all of us are His children.
( Eph. 6:1 ) "In the Lord," obeying parents is required in the "order of nature" (Genesis), "in the law" (Ten Commandments), and today (in Grace). Obey, honor and respect parents because it is part of our obedience to our Lord. He asks us to do it. It is His commandment.
( Rom. 8:4 ; Eph. 3:10 ) Obedience is proof that we are like Him. To obey is to do what Jesus did when He was on earth. To obey is to say 'Yes' to God's truth and to say 'No' to the alternative. To assent to God's way implies a commitment to exercise, to apply, to practice the biblical response until it becomes habitual.
Discipline Involves The Whole of Life
( Eph. 6:4 ) The father has the authority and the position to exercise discipline. To the extent the parent disciplines and controls himself, to that extent will he influence the child. It is up to the parent to judge himself to insure a biblical response to counteract a spirit of harshness ( James 1:2-4 ).
The breakdown of society involves the whole problem of discipline. In fact, the whole future of civilization, it appears, rests upon this! The Bible deals with right, truth, justice, and righteousness. Discipline may be defined as imposed or self imposed standards and restraints to keep one from following the natural inclinations of the flesh in order to follow the life style of self-control and self-donation. This is characterized by not giving or taking offense; by humility in considering others needs and interest before one's own; and by being teachable in not excusing one's failures or defending one's weaknesses.
( Prov. 13:24 ; Eph. 6:4 ) The problems of discipline lies between these two verses, going from one extreme to another; e.g., Victorian age of austere discipline to "no spanking" philosophy currently in vogue. Rebellion ensues in either case. The opposite of wrong discipline is not the absence of it, but the right discipline.
Balanced Discipline
( Eph. 6:4 ; 1 Cor. 9:21 ; Rom. 1:18-32 ) Discipline a child in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. We are under the law, the discipline of it, to Christ. A Christian is to be more disciplined because he sees the deeper meaning of it. God punishes sin by abandoning the world to its own evil because the world refuses to submit to Him.
Biblical teaching recognizes man is in a state of sin which requires that laws be enforced in order that man can see and know God: then man can be brought into the grace of God to get to know the higher law of God and delight in pleasing God by doing His commandments.
( Eph. 6:1-2 ) Don't exasperate your child. Repeated attacks on the child provokes a child to become resentful. We are incapable of exercising true discipline unless we are first able to exercise self-control, controlling our own tempers.
Negative Influence
An unpredictable and moody parent is a real chore for a child for he doesn't know from one day to the next what is expected of him. Parents can be harsh on some minor offense and casual on a major offense another day.
Parents must develop a listening ear and never be unreasonable or unwilling to hear a child's case. Parents are to punish for correction's sake not to inflict harm and not to humiliate in front of others.
Possessive or domineering parents impose their personality on a child which crushes his own identity. Parents expect and demand everything from the child. The child's whole life is to be lived for the parents sake; whereas, they are only custodians and guardians to insure God's life flows through the child.
Positive Influence
Recognize growth and development in your children and treat them accordingly. Don't treat them as small children all of their lives. Allow them to develop a conscience of their own.
Don't impose your will over the child. Allow for him and the grace of God to operate through him to allow him to make mistakes and hold himself accountable in order to develop a conscience and self-discipline.
"Nurture." A general term which includes the whole process in the cultivation of the mind and spirit, morals, and moral behavior: the whole personality of the child dealing with conduct and behavior.
"Admonition." This puts greater emphasis on speech, things addressed to the child, words of exhortation, encouragement, reproof, etc.
"Of the Lord." Not simply good manners, but brought up in the knowledge of the Lord as Savior and Lord, that the child may come to know Jesus personally.
Work Out Your Salvation (Phil. 2:12-13)
BSAF on three or more verses from this worksheet.
Review Unit 7 of Strengthening Your Marriage [15][Mack1].