The ultimate explanation of the state of the world is the state of the church.
( Col. 3:4 ) He is "our life." This means we are sharers of His life, members of His body... His flesh... His bones.
( 2 Cor. 3:15-16 ) We are new creations in the supernatural realm of the Spirit: sharing His life on earth.
( John 17:22 ) The "standing," the dignity, the position that belongs to the bridegroom belongs to the bride also.
( 2 Cor. 4:15-18 ) "All things are ours." We are sharing in His possessions, His interest, His plans, His purposes. Likewise, the husband tells his wife everything, every desire, every ambition, every hope, every thought. His wife is one with him. Thus, we as His bride, we are His "help-meet." We share His burden and preach the Gospel in the same way that the wife is the "help-meet" to her husband.
( Col. 3:4 ) Finally, we share in His glory.
The Husband's Duties
There are three basic principles to be considered as follows:
First Principle: We must realize in connection with marriage, as with all else in the Christian life, the secret of success is "to think, to understand." Nothing happens automatically. If you don't think and understand, you will revert back to elemental forces which are governed by instincts and impulses such as anger, fear, sickness, greed, weakness, etc. These factors hit you before you can think. Feelings will reign, human reasons prevail and God's truths will be forgotten.
Second Principle: Conception of marriage must be positive to be lifted up to the position of the relationship between the Lord and His church. Questions to ask yourself daily ( Matt. 5:48 ):
Does my married life correspond to, and is it governed by, God's ideal?
Is my marriage conforming and attaining to the ideal increasingly?
Third Principle: The real cause of failure, ultimately, in marriage is "self" and the various manifestations of self. This is the basic trouble in and of the world. As a Christian, the denial of self is to be practiced daily until husband and wife are "one flesh."
One Flesh Concept
In marriage two are one; that is, two become one flesh. When two become two, problems result.
The wife is the body of the husband, even as the church is the body of Christ.
The husband is to be governed by this principle that his wife is part of himself, not two but one. She is not just a partner, she (whole in herself) is the other half of man.
Therefore, "He that loveth his wife, loveth himself." Thus, in a sense, he is loving himself.
The whole of the husband's thinking must include his wife, never himself in isolation or in detachment. He must include her not only physically but intellectually and spiritually.
To do the contrary, man damages and hurts himself when he thinks and act in isolation. This detachment breaks the marriage bond which allows fear and insecurity to enter.
Unity - The Central Principle of Marriage
Unity: The two shall be one flesh. One for all and all for one. Unity is the key ( Eph. 5:31-32 ).
Divorce: Individuality is stressed here. Two people are asserting their rights. The results are clashes, discord and separation.
Leaving, Cleaving, Weaving:
( Eph. 5:33 ) Both husband and wife were in deference and submission to their respective parents. Now the husband must assume headship and the wife must defer to the husband. This is the beginning of a new unit. The parents are no longer to control them, but God is to be God. The parents are not to be God.
( Col. 3:19 ) The husband is inclined to dominate. He is cautioned not to be harsh. If he is not harsh with himself, he will not be harsh with his wife as well.
( Eph. 5:18 ) Do not be drunk with your own ideas, but be filled with the Spirit. A good place to start application of God's wisdom is in the home. As head of the home, the husband is not to abuse or misuse authority by being harsh or unkind or unfair. To act in this manner reveals the absence of the Spirit.
Reverence of Wife: As the church is subject to Christ, so wives are subject to their husbands.
( 1 Pet. 3:2 ) She is to respect, defer, honor, esteem, admire, praise and be devoted to him. Above all, she is to encourage husband - never demean. Each is responsible to the Lord to change their respective lives to conform to godly principles regardless of the other's responses. By godly responses, we can influence, but only God has the authority and power to change the heart, the motives of another.
( 1 Pet. 3:6 ) Sarah recognized the biblical view of marriage - the husband as head of a new unit. As head, he conveys to his wife by thought and by deed that she is valued, that he cannot do without her. She in return views her husband with great honor and respect. Husband, above all else, is not to take his wife for granted. He is to convey to his wife, in spirit and in action, that she is 'needed'. Wife needs to know that she is needed in entirety, else sense of detachment and separation opens the door to fear.
( Psalm 45:10 ) The wife formerly owed deference to her parents, now she owes it to her husband, but neither are to be controlled by their parents. The wife is never to be the head. However, decision making is to be coordinated. When Sarah called Abraham "lord," she recognized and honored the authority which is of God. It is this God-given authority that she honors, not just the man only. She submits to him, to fulfill him, does not compete or strive with him.
Secularism Vs. Christianity
Secularism always talks about generalities. The individual is forgotten.
Christianity realized that the mass, the nation, is nothing but a collection of individuals. Thus, it is as individuals are put right that a nation is put right. It is not by attending disarmament or population conferences, earth summits, etc., but it is by the application of Christian doctrine in practical living that will change a nation. One of the major means is the family unit, the marriage relationship.
( Phil. 2:5 ) Above all else, the supreme factor is for each to consider his/her personal relationship to Jesus Christ. And when they do, the husband's and the wife's relationship to each other will grow and abound in grace and fruitfulness. As each concentrates on Christ, two become one in minds and in judgments.
The Concept of Authority
Lucifer's pride challenged God's authority. He did not want to submit, which resulted in rebellion and chaos.
God reinstituted His chain of authority in the garden. With this chain is the strength and ability to live God's principles which begins by an act of submission. This requires a giving up of self, an act of humility which is necessary to swallow up the pride of Lucifer and sin in its entirety, the corruption of deceit and lust upon which the world subsists and operates.
As Christians, we are no longer independent of God in our thoughts and actions, but everything we think and all that we do is dependent upon God and His Word. As we move from self-loving-self to self-loving-others, we exercise the very nature of God.
Therefore, in humility and dependence upon God we complete the plan God originally intended in the garden, that is, being conformed to the image of God's Son and in Him to destroy the works of the devil. By doing this, we are establishing God's kingdom, His righteousness, and His will on earth.
Work Out Your Salvation (Phil. 2:12-13)
Work out three verse, at least, through BSAF.
Read Unit 4 and 5 of Strengthening Your Marriage [15][Mack1]. Review Section 9.1, “Cleansing and Purifying the Soul” . Continue developing log lists of failures and working through these failures.