Eph. 5:25-33 -The duty of the husband towards his wife in terms of the union between Christ and the church and husband and wife.
( Eph. 5:29-33 ) Doctrine of the mystical union between Christ and the church.
( Eph. 4:21-25 ) The controlling idea is the husband's love to and for his wife. Submission is part of wife, love is part of husband. To maintain harmony and peace and unity in the home, the wife has to keep her eye on the element of submission, while the husband has to keep his eye on love.
( 2 Tim. 1:7 ) The husband is the leader and authority figure. To keep him from becoming a tyrant, this power is to be tempered with love. The reign of the husband is to be a reign and rule of love requiring a mind that is sound, disciplined, and self-controlled.
The Nature of Love
Eros: Essentially loving if loved in return. The world exists by this kind of love.
Phileo: Brotherly love, or being simply fond of one another.
Agape: Unconditional love, not with terms or conditions, not feelings, not erotic, not merely being fond of one another, but having fruit that resembles God's love. ( Gal. 5:22 )
Eros and phileo are natural and okay in their place; man and woman should physically and mutually be attracted. Eros, the sexual, is part of man's make-up. Phileo represents companionship. All three loves should be experienced by Christians.
We do not get drunk with all kinds of feelings ( Eph. 5:18 ), but filled with the Spirit. In this spirit, the husband is to respond to his wife as a matter of course. Agape is the highest of the loves and should be sought ( 1 Cor. 13:13 ).
Love Wife as Christ Loves The Church
Christ loved the church in spite of her deficiencies. Christ gave Himself for the church. Sacrifice is characteristic of this kind of love. Christ gave His life and His present concern is for her well-being and for her to be perfect. Likewise, the husband comes up against deficiencies, difficulties - things he feels he can criticize in his wife. The husband is to express the love that gives, not for what he can get out of it, but seeks primarily to benefit his wife, to shield, protect, and guard her(See Section 5.3, “What Makes a Man a Man” ).
( John 14:21 ) Love must be expressed in action, in the doing; not just the saying, but in what is done.
( Phil. 2:5 ) The Lord did not consider Himself, He became a servant, He did not count the cost, the shame; but He came to make the church perfect. Likewise, the husband is to look beyond his wife's faults, and to give her what she needs, not what she deserves.
The Lord set the church apart for Himself; we are His special possession, His bride. We have a polluted nature, lusts of mind and flesh - an infection. We are cleansed by the Holy Spirit within Who operates through the Word of God. Through the Word, we are progressively cleansed from pollution and being brought into a state in which we will be finally perfect - without spot or wrinkle.
( James 1:21 ; 1 Pet. 1:23 ) Regeneration is the work of the Holy Spirit Who does His work through the Word of God. As we obey, this gives the Holy Spirit something to work on, conforming us to Our Lord.
( Phil. 2:12-16 ) Christ is cleansing His church through the Holy Spirit Whom He has sent and Who uses His Word to accomplish the task. We are to work out what the Holy Spirit works within. God can only sanctify us as we respond biblically to life's challenges.
( Isa. 6:3 ; Col. 1:10-11 ) Do not start with your needs, your problems. Start with God, His being, His nature, the character of God. Growing in the knowledge of God leads to holiness and sanctification. Daily devotional practices and prayer are the keys to spiritual growth (See Section A.12, “Anchor Posts” ).
( Eph. 1:3-4 ; Eph. 5:27-28 ) We are baptized into the Lord Jesus Christ. Thus, the process of sanctification begins in our union with Him which leads to His Second Coming. In the same way, husbands are to separate wives unto themselves in order to enhance her in the process of purification. The husband is to take the lead in separating the family from the corrupt influences of the world's system by establishing kingdom principles in the family unit.
( Eph. 5:30-32 ) The doctrine of the mystical union between Christ and the church helps us to understand the union between husband and wife. "Mystery" means something that is inaccessible to the unaided human mind; spiritual truth that is only understood by a born-again person. The mystery concerns Christ and the church, not husband and wife; but it sheds light on the marriage between husband and wife.
( Eph. 1:18 ) To understand these mysteries is the reason God gave to us the five-fold ministries to instruct us accordingly. The church is the "body" of Christ; thus, husband and wife are not merely an external relationship, but an internal "edifying of itself in love." "Members of His body," of His flesh, of His bones - vital, organic unity is involved.
( Gen. 2:23 ) While Adam was asleep, woman was taken out of man; so, the "body," the church, was taken out of Jesus, the second Adam, at the cross - the mystery. The emphasis here is that we are part of Christ's very nature as Eve was part of man. When man pays attention to his "body," Eve, he is paying attention to himself. He cannot divorce himself from himself; what he does for his "body" he does for himself.
( 2 Pet. 1:4 ) "Partakers of the divine nature," We derive our life, our very being from Him. We are truly a part of Him as we live by His Word which is His flesh.
One Flesh
( Eph. 5:31-32 ; Gen. 2:24 ) Woman taken out of the substance of man. In a sense, they are now two; in another sense, they were not two. Thus, two and one at the same time, this oneness, this idea of "one flesh."
( Eph. 1:23 ) Adam was incomplete without Eve. Thus, she makes up the fullness of Adam. Likewise, the church makes up the fullness of Christ. As husband and wife fulfill their respective roles and functions according to Kingdom principles by completing one another by the Lord's directions, by increasing in godly virtues, by separating themselves more and more from the world's system, and, thus, increasing the Presence of their union with Christ, God's Kingdom and His will are being established on earth as it is in heaven.
Work Out Your Salvation (Phil. 2:12-13)
Select your own verses from this sheet and do a BSAF on at least three verses.
Read Unit 3 of Strengthening Your Marriage [15][Mack1]. Review Section 9.2, “Sin, Self, Suffering” . Continue working on problem area via Section A.4, “Victory Over Sin Worksheet” .