We are the sum of what we experienced in life and our reactions to these experiences. To the extent we are offended, become angry and irritated, we are limited to that extent in our spiritual walk.
( Rom. 12:10-11 ; Gal. 6:1 ) Our job is to restore, not to condemn or criticize, so that we can establish God's Kingdom of peace on earth by walking free of irritations, of criticism, of faultfinding, of blame shifting. This is accomplished by purity of heart, love and prayers for each other, consciousness of being in the spirit by faith ( Gal. 5:22-23 ).
( Eph. 4:31-32 ; Gal. 6:14 ) By an act of our will, we put-off, and by an act of the will we put-on being a blessing. No longer controlled by life's irritations, but we use these irritations as opportunities to reveal Christ within to touch the other person(s).
( Matt. 12:34-35 ) No one or thing is the cause of your anger. The offense reveals the spirit that is in you. Sinful anger reveals that you are living to please self.
( Eph. 2:1-6 ) Desires of the flesh and mind are inhabited by envy, jealousy, greed, and pride: the sources of anger. The enemy's job is to keep you occupied and earthbound by these selfish feelings. This will keep you from realizing the fullness of who and what you are in Christ Jesus.
( Rom. 5:3-5 ) Anger and bitterness are two noticeable signs of being self-focused, and not trusting God's sovereignty in your life. Don't need to protect your 'rights', the defense of self. The very things that upset you, God will use to perfect and to motivate you to work through these tribulations, becoming a blessing instead of a curse.
( 2 Pet. 1:4 ) Being a partaker of the divine nature, working through the experiences of life God's way, we begin to realize that we are growing in Christ, and truly being freed from the corruption of this world.
( Matt. 5:16 ; Eph. 4:1-3 ) Anger and bitterness are formidable obstacles to biblical love, harmonious relationships, and maturity in Christ. Failing to put off anger grieves the Holy Spirit and gives Satan a place in your life obscuring your witness to others, and disrupting unity in the body of Christ. Dealing biblically with anger and bitterness requires wholehearted obedience to God's word in every circumstance and with every person, even if your feelings dictate otherwise.
( 1 Pet. 1:13-16 ; Eph. 2:10 ; Phil. 3:13-14 ) Anger and bitterness have no place in thought. We are to think dispassionately. The world lives by experiences, by reason, by feelings, but we are to live by faith. We are to live above experiences and reason. In order to think with security, we must think about thinking. A thinking person realizes who and what he is in Christ. He is above feelings and lives by his will based on the word of God. He fights a good fight of faith, not feelings, and he pursues excellencies being daily conformed to the image of Christ.
( Gen. 4:7 ; Prov. 24:10 ; Prov. 21:22 ) You are responsible for controlling your spirit. Since God's word commands you to put away anger and bitterness, then it is possible to do so.
( Luke 9:23 ; Gal. 5:16-17 ) Because of the ever-present temptation to live for self rather than to live for God, you must obey God's word, pray habitually, constantly depend on God's Spirit.
( Col. 1:10 ) You are not to allow anger to get the upper hand and gain control of your mind or conduct, since Satan uses these opportunities to affect your life. You must live in a manner to please the Lord no matter how you feel.
( James 1:19-20 ) Quick to listen means to be quick to ask questions, to get facts, to give time for the Holy Spirit to control you, then you can act in a biblical manner.
Think Biblically
( Phil. 4:8 ; Ps. 23:1-6 ) We are to think biblically that God has promised to care for us in any situation, no matter how unsettling it may seem. Discipline your mind to honor and glorify God, to please Him in all situations. "Think" kind and tender thoughts toward the very person with whom you are or have been irritated. Focus your thoughts on solving the current problem ( James 1:5 ; James 3:13-18 ).
Speak Biblically
( Ps. 51:1-4 ; James 5:16 ; 1 John 1:9 ; Phil. 3:13-14 ) We are to speak biblically, confess sins to the Lord and to those whom you have failed to love in a biblical manner. Don't talk about your past accomplishments, sorrows or defeats, hurts and pains but talk about the goodness of God in your life. Do not slander, gossip or use words that do not edify ( Prov. 10:18 ; Eph. 4:29 ).
Act Biblically
( Col. 3:13 ; James 1:21 ) Forgive others readily as God has forgiven you. Meditate on Scriptures related to overcoming anger and bitterness to remove the root of the foul spirit within.
( Ps. 1:1 ) Identify all danger signals, such as situations, places and personal contacts that bring temptation.
( Matt. 5:23-24 ) Make amends for wrongdoing and seek reconciliation.
( 1 Pet. 3:8-9 ) We are called to be a blessing especially to those who revile us.
Work Out Your Salvation (Phil. 2:12-13)
BSAF on Luke 6:27-31 .
( Phil. 4:5 ) Gentleness means forbearing, large-hearted, courteous, generous, lenient, moderate. These are qualities which are opposite to irritability, rudeness, abrasiveness. To put on gentleness, ask self:
"What or whom are you most likely to be irritable? What is it about your surroundings that irritate you? About yourself? About friends, associates, family? When are you most likely to be irritated? How do you express irritability?" (A Homework Manual for Biblical Counseling, Wayne Mack.)
Make plans to deal with these situations in your thinking, speaking and acting patterns as described in the respective headings in the above paragraphs. See Eph. 4:22-32 for communication guidelines on how to biblical respond to life's circumstances.
Note: Do not suppress feelings of anger. Turn all offenses over to God the Father, let Him deal with the situation. Ask Him for grace to respond biblically ( 1 Pet. 2:23 ).