Avoid the use of emotionally charged words. "You don't really love me."; "You always do......."; "You never do anything right."; " I don't care." ...
Be responsible for your own emotions, words, actions, and reactions. Don't blame them on the other person. You got angry, lashed out, became depressed, etc.( Gal. 6:5
; James 1:13-15
)
Refrain from having reruns on old arguments. ( Eph. 4:26
)
Deal with one problem at a time. Solve one problem and then move on to the next. ( Matt. 6:34
)
Deal in the present and not in the past. Hang a "no fishing" sign over the past unless it will help you to solve the present problem. ( Phil. 3:12-14
; Jere. 31:34
; Isa. 43:25
)
Major on the positive instead of majoring on the negative. ( Phil. 4:8
)
Express your thoughts and concerns to each other. Relate your activities. Listen, understand, and respond to the meaning behind what a person is saying. When he flies off the handle at you, he may be saying, "I had a terrible day at the job. Nobody re
spects me." When she says, "You don't love me", she may be really saying ,"I desperately need some affection. I'm starved for love." (Example of Jesus in John 1:45-47
; Mark 5:1-15
; John 11:20-35
)
Practice the golden rule -- Matt.7:12
. What would you like your mate to do to you? Would you like your mate to: Tell the truth? Ask your opinion? Help in time of need? Be natural around you? Thank you for your help and services? Well, do the same for him.
Practice the principle laid down in Luke 6:35
. "Do good - do that which will help others; and lend expecting and hoping for nothing in return."
Consciously recognize that as a Christian, all you have, and are,
(rights to yourself) belong to God ( 1 Cor. 6:19-20
; Rom. 12:1
; Ps. 24:1
).
Dedicate all that you have and are, including your "rights", to God.
Trust Him to take care of His property. Cease to think in terms of your "rights",
and concentrate on God's will and purpose and promises.
Whenever you are tempted to become sinfully angry, write down:
What is happening ?
What qualities God may be trying to develop through this situation.
What personal rights of yours do you think are being denied?(Your 'rights' belong to God)
What may you have done to promote the situation ?
What does God want you to do,and how does He want you to act ?(Search the Scriptures)
What is keeping you from doing the right thing when you are tempted to become sinfully angry?
Is it your ignorance? Lack of desire? Fear? ,etc.
or --
Simply ask self 3 basic questions:
What happened ?
What did I do to contribute to the problem ?
What must I do now to fix the situation biblically ?